Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Random Reviews

I decided to review random things and stuff for you.  The good, the bad, the random. My recent trip to Vegas had some influence on what I reviewed.
I couldn't think of anything to rant on and on about. What does this mean??? Am I turning human?

Are you There, Chelsea?: A new TV show that I enjoy. It's  inappropriate and dirty. The star is basically an alcoholic whore. Obviously, I cannot relate. It also has a perplexing amount of little and short people in the cast. Watch it.

Air Canada:  Our "flag carrier". What a joke. I hate them. They are like your 38 year old brother that still lives in Mom's basement. Stop fucking up. Nobody actually likes you.  The end.

Bacon:  Bacon is my religion. I love bacon. I have even learned to embrace the low sodium kind. What can I say, it's the health nut in me.

Aussie Cheese Fries:  From Outback Steakhouse.  Fries, seasoned, 3 kinds of melted cheese, bacon, spicy ranch dip. Need I say more? Comparably, eating these is like having an orgasmic experience while entering the gates of heaven.  These are constantly on my mind.  We do not have an Outback where I live. There are, supposedly, 3 located in a city 3 hours away that I frequent for work and drinking. May consider moving there now.

Vodka:  When I don't feel like having wine stained lips and teeth that make me look like a Twilight character, I enjoy vodka. Not picky, although when I am buying a bottle for the old homestead, I usually go with Absolute. When someone else is buying, Grey Goose. Vodka does not give me the same awkward, paralyzing, you-should-be-kept-in-a-cage drunk that wine does. A definite win for those occasions where I must be classy. Like a baptism or children's Christmas concert. Or when the Bachelor is on.

Walgreens: Walgreen's, particularly in Vegas, can provide an alarming amount of entertainment. Next time you are shitfaced drunk and lost a substantial amount of money gambling, I encourage you to grab your best friend and checkout your local Walgreen's. You won't be disappointed. They sell underwear. Extra points for getting kicked out.

Turnips: Are disgusting. There is no good reason for them. Just say no to turnips.

Slot Machines:  In Vegas, money is not real. It's just paper that allows you to continue to play super fun games. I will shovel handfuls of cash into those machines, but, funny enough, I won't just light the bills on fire beforehand. In real life, I have (very little) self control and self respect. Not in Vegas. I will play those machines until my eyes are bleeding and I am considering prostitution so I can play another game.  The drinks are free though, so I just pretend that each drink cost me $250.

Vampires: Why is everything about vampires right now? It's stupid.  They aren't real. Our youth today (and, disturbingly, some adults) fantasize about dead people that drink blood and don't sleep. I don't see the appeal. Whether or not I would have sex with Edward Cullen is neither here nor there.

Marky Mark:  Mark Wahlberg. Love. Want. It's his badass frowny attitude that gets me going. Watch Contraband. Watch the Good Vibrations music video. They are all good. I am going to find a way to have his children one day. Or his sexually transmitted diseases. Either or.

Wine:  Last but not least, the wind beneath my wings. Without wine, this potential Pulitzer prize winning blog would not exist. I would not have character defining bruises covering my body.  Without wine, I would not have the courage to sing or dance as beautifully as I do.  I most likely would not have as many failed relationships. Stain removal is a skill now. The list benefits and credit I need to give to wine is endless.
Wine has made me who I am today. And that's sayin' something.

Friday, 9 March 2012

Kony Island?

Today's blog will be without the usual sarcastic, alcohol induced rantings. Oh, and no dick talk. Thanks for that Jenna.

I watched the viral Kony 2012 video today.  Usually, watching a popular video is at the top of my daily to-do list, especially when it involves funny cats, talking babies, or people hurting themselves.  I had an idea of what the video was about after seeing different Twitter and Facebook statuses.  I needed to be in the right mood for a video like this.  I feel an overwhelming urge to share my feelings on this video. I am not asking any of you to support or to not support this cause. Just my own thoughts.

The power of social media today truly amazes me. Especially when it is used for good, and not just porn distribution.Despite the light and uncaring nature of this blog, stuff actually gets to me.  If I see a homeless person on the street, I will think about them for the rest of the day. If I hear about a kid being bullied or made fun of, it will be on my mind for hours.

If you had mentioned or asked me about Joseph Kony yesterday, I probably would have responded with the title of this blog. Coney island fries?
The first word that comes to mind if I were asked how I felt after watching the informative 27 minute video, is embarrassment.  I am truly embarrassed that this man exists and has been doing what he is doing for 20 years, and I had no idea.   But I can name every celebrity that has filed for divorce in the past 5 years and what the top 5 songs on iTunes are today.  Shame, helplessness, anger and sadness quickly follow.

I've seen comments made about this video on both ends of the spectrum.. Some are very eager to support and stand behind this cause to create awareness.  Others of a more cynical nature are responding that Kony is just one of many horrible people in this world and a YouTube video isn't going to change anything.

What really bothers me is that I don't feel like I can make a difference and help the situation. Sure, I signed the pledge and can donate money.  But short of parking myself in the Uganda jungle with a lynching rope and a copy of "How to Capture a War Criminal for Dummies", I do not personally feel like I am making a difference. That bugs me.

I am grateful that I watched it, even though my whole weekend is now probably ruined because it is all I will think about.  It did what it was supposed to do for me - made me aware.  It also taught me a lesson  in which I am absolutely going to appreciate what I have, where I live, and what is actually important.
Less TMZ and more CNN methinks.

I hate that we live in a world where these activities are happening. It enrages me that this Kony character specifically targets children, who aren't being given a chance at a normal life, now or in the future. It literally makes me sick.  I am however, so grateful that we live in a time where the technology and so many different social media outlets exist that information can be shared and awareness can be made within hours. It's pretty amazing, really. 

PS. I am totally drinking a bottle of wine tonight