Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Allow Me to Slap You

I realize the title of this blog is "Rantings of a Wine Hag".  The definition of ranting is: To Speak or shout at length in a wild, impassioned way.

I do rant. I do complain. We all do. What I cannot stand is people who constantly complain or bitch about their lives and the trivial shit that we all have to deal with.  Sure, everyone has a complaint or something that bugs them. That's normal. But to constantly be a Debbie Downer and actually LOOK for something to complain about is disgusting to me.  Yes, everyone hates and grumbles about Mondays. You burn the dinner that you so carefully planned and prepared all day.  Shoveling snow sucks ass. There definitely are some sucky times in life.  I think what some people are forgetting is there is a huge difference between crappy situations and instances, and just being plain ungrateful, insensitive and ridiculous.

Facebook is a complainers paradise. And a great source of some of my rage: 
 "Wahhh, I sneezed 6 times today. I'm dying!"
 "Boo,  my plane ride returning me from a luxury vacation in Fiji was soooo long." 
 "I couldn't find a job for over a year, but now that I have one, I hate going to it." 
 "I had to brush snow off of my Porsche Cayenne."

I don't know if they just feel too much pressure to have a status update and complaining is their default option? Honestly, I'd rather see someone declaring they are about to get shit-faced drunk (like moi) or discussing how many bowel movements they have had that week, than see some petty, ignorant, bitchy comment like "The line up I had to stand in to buy my new iPhone was so long. FML".

Which brings me to my next rant. To those of you that consistently use "FML" (f*ck my life), I suggest you take a good hard look at your life before you say that. I wonder what acronym starving children in Africa have? The homeless person trying to find somewhere warm and out of the wind?  Or even the person that has been unemployed for 2 years and struggling to keep their house. I'm sure they would gladly take your place in 40 minutes of traffic.  The woman struggling to beat breast cancer for the second time would in a heart beat take your sniffles and flu bug than sit through another round of chemo.  And don't even bellyache about being broke while you type from your $1200 MacBook Pro.

The weather is going change, people. We don't need to write a book on it. It's too cold, it's too hot, it's too windy.  You will never be happy, ok? Bring a speedo and a parka with you everywhere you go. And while we're on the subject of a speedo, yes, ok, fine. You are fat. Are you happy now? Is that the validation that you needed?

I am not, in any way, trying to say what is an acceptable complaint and what isn't.  I am not the bitching police.  I would just like to urge you to think before you speak.  If someone says "Gee, that movie really sucked", I am not going to fly into a fit of rage and remind you that not everyone owns a television. Come on. Let's remember what the foundation of this blog is - wine and my thoughts, mostly rants. Remember, I don't like many people, so this is not intended to make me look like Mary Sunshine.  
I need a reminder at times to check myself and that it could be much worse. Honestly, if my biggest complaint in life is the assholes that don't know how to walk in the mall....I have it pretty damn good. 

To the serial complainers: Your life may not be so shit stained if you look at it from a different perspective.  Or, unfortunately, you just might be a really miserable awful person, and in that case, I am going to unfriend you.


  1. I also hate cryptic, faux-mysterious status updates. You know the ones. They range from:

    "I had an awesome romantic time with someone super special last night!"


    "People who talk about you behind your back need to learn that we're not in High School anymore and if you've got something to say, you can say it to my face"

    or it's brother update,

    "bitches gonna hate, cutting you out of my life forever, I don't need your drama, you know who you are."


    "I can't believe what someone did to me, omg, tears forever. I heart tears."

    I'm sort of out of random made up statuses because I might have decided to mix cough syrup and wine and neocitran to see what would happen. So far, so good.

  2. Hahahaha, exactly Meg! Or the "I have never been so mad in my life. How could you do this to me?"

    I refuse to acknowledge or comment on those ones.

  3. You said it, Hag (Can I call you Hag?). <--also is this correct grammar? I can't recall. Anyways, unjustified negativity can suck my nut. If you don't think you have it good, then your getting exactly what your aiming for. It's all mind-set. Foolish fools!