Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Christmas with a Crank

Before I rant, I realize that those of you that subscribe only get notifications 24 hours after I blog. I don't know how to fix that. You will just have to check regularly I guess. And comment for crying out loud. I see I have 236 readers - 4 from Russia! Comment or I'll cut you.

If any of you go to a shopping mall, I guess it is only fair of me to tell you that I hate you. Seriously, it seems that everyone's manners and knowledge of how to walk in a mall is lost on them the second that they step foot in the building.  Is it the bright lights and shiny things?  Get the fucking fuck out of my way. Stop shuffling and dillydallying.  Move to the side. Pick up your feet!  I came dangerously close to punching someone in the back of the head today.  Instead, I just purposely stepped on the back of their shoes.  It felt good.
I won't single out the elderly and shoppers that are over the age of 100. They need to shop too, and have paid their dues. They had to tolerate these assholes when they were young shoppers back in 1897.

And what is up with those that are walking in the opposite direction as you, heading right toward you?  I am always the one to move to the side.  Enough of that shit.  I refuse to move anymore and am willing to play a game of head-on-collision chicken with you, bitch.

Then you have the assholes that think it's cute to let their 1 year old learn how to walk on his own in the middle of the mall.  Guess what? Your kid annoys me now and is no longer cute.  And you, jackass parents, do you not realize you are just baiting kidnappers and pedophiles?

I would be willing to fund mall cops that direct people.  Just like the ones that wave you through when stop lights are broken.  Clearly this needs to happen as we are just barely evolved zoo animals. It's either that or an IQ test followed by an agility obstacle course in order to enter a shopping mall. So we will have mall traffic cops and I will seek anger management counselling in return. Done and done!

1 comment:

  1. I don't want to get cut, so I will comment/rant. I was extremely stressed out reading this last entry. This type of mall/store behavior infuriates me. Just the other day in Walmart a man stops mid isle and starts to just look around, not an "I'm lost where do I go?" look (which is still extremely annoying, move your ass to the side) more of a "Wow, I really admire the architecture of this Walmart." I was close to ramming my stroller in to the back of his legs, which would have been deserved.

    Also, although I do have to remind myself that it is not an old persons fault they are slow, I have no patience for stupidity or ignorance, regardless of age..Great now I seem like a bitch, I am going to stop talking now.