This holiday season just might kill me. My social calendar (aka scheduled pummeling of my liver) is jam packed this year. I'm not complaining at all. I love holiday parties and food and libations (please take note of my big and fancy word usage) and the activities that occur at said parties. If there is a board game to be had, I will be there front and center, bossing everyone around. I have also been known to physically attack complete strangers at parties during board games. But only if the stranger is cheating. And I only dove over a table and tackled this stranger to the ground. Once. There was no blood!
Another of my finer moments as a guest at a party was to not only parade around in the hostess' Snuggie, but then climb into bed with her at 2:30am when she was trying to sleep and suggest that we watch the Royal Wedding. Both of these occurrences happened at the same house and as I type this, I honestly cannot believe these people still talk to me.
In addition, it's always a fun challenge when you wake up after a Christmas party and try to figure out who in the hell your 5 newest Facebook friends are.
This coming week is a big and busy one. It is my last week of work before I go on holidays. I'm sure most of you that have jobs can relate to just how hard it is to maintain being drunk everyday for the month of December and stay on top of everything at work? For those of us that can pull it off successfully, I believe we should be given an award or at least an honorable mention in a History text book. I'm exhausted and it is only December 11th. I took it easy tonight and only had 2 glasses of wine. Anyway, besides a crazy work week and a few evening work events, I have 3 parties to attend before Sunday, one of them being an ugly Christmas sweater party.
I am determined to somehow fit into this week making my very own ugly Christmas sweater. Remember when I said I spent $107 at Dollarama? Well my friends, a good $35 of that was collecting the materials to make this sucker.
In my mind, this garment is magnificent. I have a plain old red sweater that I am basically going to sew on a bunch of random shit. There is going to be 2 fake sparrows sitting on my shoulders, ok. There will be bells, drums, ribbons, tiny presents, stuffed animals, bows; hell, there may even be leftovers from this fridge on this thing. You know those light up reindeer people put on their front lawn? Yeah, I'm trying to figure out a way to attach one to the back of this sweater. I figure I can somehow rig up a backpack style harness.
This sweater is going to be the Mother of all ugly Christmas sweaters. I have no idea when I am going to have the time to perfect my masterpiece, but rest assured, I will most likely be drunk when I do it, which is when I do my best work, really.
Wish me luck, and if I can figure it out, I'll post a picture of the sweater. Stay tuned on my adventures in Christmas partying this week.
It was majestic.
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